Sarah Jessica Parker
I've been lucky enough in my lifetime to meet a number of celebrities. Usually I meet them in some kind of work capacity, either on a movie set or doing interviews during a press junket. It's rare that I have a personal conversation with them since on set it's all about business, and during a press junket, as soon as they're done, they leave. But many years ago I was fortunate enough to have a personal conversation with one Sarah Jessica Parker. A little later I'll relate that conversation, word for word, since it's burned into my memory. But first, some background.
The first movie I ever worked on was Tromeo and Juliet. No, that is not a misprint. It was a Troma version of Romeo and Juliet. Troma is the company behind the classic Toxic Avenger series. I was hired as an office PA and because the production was so small, I got to get my hands dirty in a lot of different areas. I quit before they started shooting because the office manager was, for lack of a better word, a raging bitch who no one could stand. Less than a week later however, I got a job as an office PA on The Substance of Fire. The film, based on a Broadway play, centered around... well who cares, the cast included Timothy Hutton, Tony Goldwyn, Ron Rifkin and Sarah Jessica Parker. At the time, even though she had yet to do Sex and the City, Parker was by far the most recognizable name in the cast. Hutton was an Academy Award winner, and people recognized the name, but couldn't remember what movies he'd been in. With Goldwyn, no one knew the name, but as soon as I said, oh, he's the bad guy from Ghost, everyone went, ohh yeah! And no one knew who Ron Rifkin was, although now I guess people might know him from Alias. But as soon as I said Sarah Jessica Parker, everyone knew exactly who I was talking about and they were all impressed.
As an office PA, my job was fairly boring. I sat in the office all day making copies or delivering paperwork, nothing very exciting. But there was a shakeup one day, and the Production Manager left. The Locations Manager was bumped up to PM, and his assistant was bumped up to the Locations Manager position. That left a hole in the locations department, and I was asked if I would be willing to switch over. I immediately jumped on it because that meant a) during pre-production I'd be out of the office and b) during production, I'd get to be on set, which is where I really wanted to be. So I became a Locations PA (and if you ever watch the movie, you'll see my name in the credits as such.)
My first job in Locations was to be the liaison between the office and the art department who were renovating a brownstone in Grammercy Park. Basically, I got to go to Grammercy Park every day, and sit outside on the stoop. I wasn't technically allowed to help the art department (although I did what I could) but someone needed to be there in case the neighbors had a complaint. I spent almost 4 weeks sitting there in the early part of the summer. It was great! Being Grammercy Park, a lot of random people would wander by. Rebecca Gayheart (better known as the Noxema girl) walked by once. Christina Ricci showed up one day. Julia Roberts had an apartment across the street so she'd show up every so often. At the time she was dating Daniel Day Lewis, so we saw him a couple of times. The best however, was probably during the shoot when the kid who played Corky on Life Goes On walked by the set, saw our craft service table, came over, took a handful of Oreos, and walked away. All of us stood there, not knowing what to do. I mean, he's Corky, but he stole our cookies! It was odd. Actually, the best part of sitting there for a month was that literally a hundred feet away was a girls only hostel. There was this one brunette who used to rollerblade by us all the time... Man, I miss her.
So the shooting starts and I'm on set. I'm the go-to guy since I know the neighborhood inside and out. If someone needs a dry cleaner, I know the closest one... that was also part of my job. Get to know everything in a 10 block radius. Now, for the most part, the actors in the movie were pretty nice and in one way or another, I spoke to all of them. Stars, extras, stand-ins. I'm a personable person and I wanted to get to know as many people as possible. Ron Rifkin one day needed to go to his apartment on the upper East side, so I drove him there in a 15 passenger van. He had a bad back, so I had to actually help him in and out of the car. That right there is a bonding experience. Timothy Hutton I met during rehearsals because he couldn't find the location and I had to go grab him. We actually talked a few times and when I had to leave the shoot to go to another location for 2 weeks, when he got to the next location, he remembered me and asked me where I'd been. That felt nice. Tony Goldwyn and I bonded over salsa. They had chips and salsa on the craft service table one day and all the white people were saying how hot it was, Tony among them. I on the other hand have dealt with spicy food all my life, so I wandered up and took a huge chunk of salsa on a chip and wolfed it down. Tony was impressed with my abilities and told me so. So in small ways, I talked to all three main male stars, but I had yet to talk to Sarah.
Sarah was, as I said, the biggest name in the cast, and she knew it. She pretty much only talked to her co-stars and the director. The rest of us had to go through her assistant. So while I got to see her on a daily basis, even stood close to her once or twice, but never got to talk to her. Until one fateful day. Usually lunch was served a few doors down at this historical society building. It was a few seconds away and everyone knew where it was. But they had an event one afternoon so we had to have lunch a block away. I was one of the people that got to point everyone in the right direction. I was the last person actually... I stood inside the building, right before the room where lunch was served, and just had to point people to the left. One of the last people to arrive was Sarah Jessica. She was by herself and she saw me pointing. She smiled at me, I smiled back. And then we had our conversation, which I will now repeat for you:
SJP: "What's for lunch?"
Me: "Shark!"
She immediately got a sour look on her face and turned around and walked away. Yes, we were having shark for lunch that day. I'd never had it before, and I haven't had it since, but that one day, we had shark. And apparently Sarah Jessica Parker does not like shark. Ten minutes later I was asked to go to a local pizza place and get her a small pizza. I didn't get to deliver it to her; I had to give it to her assistant. And although later in the shoot I had to go every morning for two weeks to a Greek diner in Harlem to get her 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast, I never spoke to her again.
But that conversation we had... that moment in time where it was just me and her and the shark... that will be something I'll never forget. And I'm sure she'll never forget it either.
The first movie I ever worked on was Tromeo and Juliet. No, that is not a misprint. It was a Troma version of Romeo and Juliet. Troma is the company behind the classic Toxic Avenger series. I was hired as an office PA and because the production was so small, I got to get my hands dirty in a lot of different areas. I quit before they started shooting because the office manager was, for lack of a better word, a raging bitch who no one could stand. Less than a week later however, I got a job as an office PA on The Substance of Fire. The film, based on a Broadway play, centered around... well who cares, the cast included Timothy Hutton, Tony Goldwyn, Ron Rifkin and Sarah Jessica Parker. At the time, even though she had yet to do Sex and the City, Parker was by far the most recognizable name in the cast. Hutton was an Academy Award winner, and people recognized the name, but couldn't remember what movies he'd been in. With Goldwyn, no one knew the name, but as soon as I said, oh, he's the bad guy from Ghost, everyone went, ohh yeah! And no one knew who Ron Rifkin was, although now I guess people might know him from Alias. But as soon as I said Sarah Jessica Parker, everyone knew exactly who I was talking about and they were all impressed.
As an office PA, my job was fairly boring. I sat in the office all day making copies or delivering paperwork, nothing very exciting. But there was a shakeup one day, and the Production Manager left. The Locations Manager was bumped up to PM, and his assistant was bumped up to the Locations Manager position. That left a hole in the locations department, and I was asked if I would be willing to switch over. I immediately jumped on it because that meant a) during pre-production I'd be out of the office and b) during production, I'd get to be on set, which is where I really wanted to be. So I became a Locations PA (and if you ever watch the movie, you'll see my name in the credits as such.)
My first job in Locations was to be the liaison between the office and the art department who were renovating a brownstone in Grammercy Park. Basically, I got to go to Grammercy Park every day, and sit outside on the stoop. I wasn't technically allowed to help the art department (although I did what I could) but someone needed to be there in case the neighbors had a complaint. I spent almost 4 weeks sitting there in the early part of the summer. It was great! Being Grammercy Park, a lot of random people would wander by. Rebecca Gayheart (better known as the Noxema girl) walked by once. Christina Ricci showed up one day. Julia Roberts had an apartment across the street so she'd show up every so often. At the time she was dating Daniel Day Lewis, so we saw him a couple of times. The best however, was probably during the shoot when the kid who played Corky on Life Goes On walked by the set, saw our craft service table, came over, took a handful of Oreos, and walked away. All of us stood there, not knowing what to do. I mean, he's Corky, but he stole our cookies! It was odd. Actually, the best part of sitting there for a month was that literally a hundred feet away was a girls only hostel. There was this one brunette who used to rollerblade by us all the time... Man, I miss her.
So the shooting starts and I'm on set. I'm the go-to guy since I know the neighborhood inside and out. If someone needs a dry cleaner, I know the closest one... that was also part of my job. Get to know everything in a 10 block radius. Now, for the most part, the actors in the movie were pretty nice and in one way or another, I spoke to all of them. Stars, extras, stand-ins. I'm a personable person and I wanted to get to know as many people as possible. Ron Rifkin one day needed to go to his apartment on the upper East side, so I drove him there in a 15 passenger van. He had a bad back, so I had to actually help him in and out of the car. That right there is a bonding experience. Timothy Hutton I met during rehearsals because he couldn't find the location and I had to go grab him. We actually talked a few times and when I had to leave the shoot to go to another location for 2 weeks, when he got to the next location, he remembered me and asked me where I'd been. That felt nice. Tony Goldwyn and I bonded over salsa. They had chips and salsa on the craft service table one day and all the white people were saying how hot it was, Tony among them. I on the other hand have dealt with spicy food all my life, so I wandered up and took a huge chunk of salsa on a chip and wolfed it down. Tony was impressed with my abilities and told me so. So in small ways, I talked to all three main male stars, but I had yet to talk to Sarah.
Sarah was, as I said, the biggest name in the cast, and she knew it. She pretty much only talked to her co-stars and the director. The rest of us had to go through her assistant. So while I got to see her on a daily basis, even stood close to her once or twice, but never got to talk to her. Until one fateful day. Usually lunch was served a few doors down at this historical society building. It was a few seconds away and everyone knew where it was. But they had an event one afternoon so we had to have lunch a block away. I was one of the people that got to point everyone in the right direction. I was the last person actually... I stood inside the building, right before the room where lunch was served, and just had to point people to the left. One of the last people to arrive was Sarah Jessica. She was by herself and she saw me pointing. She smiled at me, I smiled back. And then we had our conversation, which I will now repeat for you:
SJP: "What's for lunch?"
Me: "Shark!"
She immediately got a sour look on her face and turned around and walked away. Yes, we were having shark for lunch that day. I'd never had it before, and I haven't had it since, but that one day, we had shark. And apparently Sarah Jessica Parker does not like shark. Ten minutes later I was asked to go to a local pizza place and get her a small pizza. I didn't get to deliver it to her; I had to give it to her assistant. And although later in the shoot I had to go every morning for two weeks to a Greek diner in Harlem to get her 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast, I never spoke to her again.
But that conversation we had... that moment in time where it was just me and her and the shark... that will be something I'll never forget. And I'm sure she'll never forget it either.
posted by SC | 10:46 AM
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